So So Boring

Stories so dull
you will never hear the end.

A library of deliberately boring audio, for people who cannot get to sleep. Appliance manuals. Council minutes. Every field on a long flat walk, described in order. Nothing here is trying to hold your attention. That is the entire point.

Start listening — $10.00 a month Look at the shelf first

Cancel any time, from your own account page. No adverts, ever — an advert is interesting.

A lecturer mid-sentence in front of a slide about fiscal policy and the Keynesian cross model, addressing a room in which every single student is asleep at their desk. This, but on purpose.
0
Recordings
0
Hours of tedium
20
Subjects
60
Minutes per session
Six photographs of the same student through one lecture: alert at nine in the morning, reaching for coffee at ten past, yawning at twenty past, eyes closing at half past, head down at twenty to ten, and fast asleep on the desk by ten to ten.

Roughly fifty minutes, in our experience. We give you sixty.

It stops after 60 minutes. On purpose.

Press play and you get 60 minutes of uninterrupted listening. At the end of it the audio fades out and stops, and it stays stopped until somebody presses play again. Nobody asleep presses play. So it does not run all night into a dark room, it does not follow you into the morning, and it does not quietly burn your phone battery until 6 a.m. If you are still awake at the end of the hour, press it again.

A young woman draped upside down off a sofa, fast asleep, while a laptop on the side table plays a presentation titled "The History of Drywall: A Very Comprehensive Overview".

How it works

Pick something you have no interest in

Search or browse by subject, by how long it runs, and by the kind of voice reading it. The library is sorted by how many people actually fell asleep, not by how good it is.

Put the phone down

One very large play button, no scrubbing bar to fumble for, and a screen that stays dark. It keeps playing with the screen off and works from the lock screen.

Do not hear the end

When you come back, we ask one question: did you get to sleep? That answer is the only rating on this site, and it is what pushes the genuinely dull to the top.

A student asleep face-down on a desk while a lecturer points at a slide headed "Quarterly Filing Procedures — Part 47".

Part 47 of 96

Somebody has read all of them out. That is what is on the shelf.

Browse by subject

Appliance Manuals
Operating instructions for machines you do not own.
Terms & Conditions
The agreements nobody has ever read to the end.
Tax Code & Regulations
Subsection by subsection, with all cross-references read aloud.
Municipal Meetings
Minutes of the parish council, in full, including apologies.
Insurance Policies
What is covered, what is excluded, and the definitions section.
Timetables & Schedules
Departures, platforms and connections that do not concern you.
Inventories & Catalogues
Part numbers, quantities on hand, and reorder levels.
Slow Processes
Paint drying, bread proving, glaciers advancing.
Statistics & Spreadsheets
Columns of figures read at an even pace.
Botany & Soil
Soil horizons, drainage classes, and the lifecycle of moss.
Assembly Instructions
Step 14 of 96. Do not overtighten.
Weather Records
Daily rainfall figures for somewhere flat, by year.
Encyclopedia Entries
Complete entries, read in alphabetical order.
Legal Depositions
Question. Answer. Objection. Rephrase the question.
Queueing & Waiting
Hold music, ticket numbers, and the sound of a line moving.
Long Walks in Flat Places
A description of every field, in order, for two hours.
Distances in Space
How far away things are, expressed several ways.
Filing & Archiving
Retention schedules and the correct order of the folders.
Patterns & Stitch Counts
Row 47: knit two, purl two, repeat to end.
Uncategorised Tedium
Boring in ways we have not yet named.

What it costs

$10.00 a month. The whole library, as many sessions as you need, on any device you are signed in on. Cancel from your account page whenever you like.

Start listening

Have you got something boring?

Contributors record the dull things they have to hand and upload them. When people listen, contributors are paid a share of what subscribers pay — divided by the time people actually spent listening, not by how many uploads you have.

How contributing works
A lecturer gestures at a slide headed "Theoretical Framework for Paradigm-Shift Synergies" while a student at the back is asleep beneath a layer of cobwebs, surrounded by a tower of empty coffee cups and an unrolled printout spilling across the floor.

We are not trying to be interesting.

There are no adverts, no host reading a sponsor message, no cliffhanger at the end of an episode, and no algorithm working out what will keep you watching. Every one of those is designed to hold your attention, and holding your attention is the problem.

What is here is flat, even, factual and long. If you make it to the end of one, we would genuinely like to know which, so we can look at it carefully and work out what went wrong.

How it works